Q: I want to do a love spell but in the Wicca book I bought it says that love spells are dangerous and should never be done under any circumstances. Are love spells really that bad? I don’t have anyone in mind for it. Is there something generic I can do that won’t blow up in my face?
A: Ahh, sweet, sweet love magic. Always such a controversial topic! While any type of spell can be “dangerous” in one way or another, love magic does tend to be of the more delicate variety. Perhaps it’s because human emotions can be such tricky creatures. But, whatever the reason, love spells are one of the most requested types of magic there is. Who doesn’t want to be loved, right?
Well, a lot of what constitutes “love magic” really boils down to your own personal views and ethics. Some magical practices make no qualms directing a spell at a specific person, or “target” (such a romantic term). Other traditions teach that love spells are bad news, or that you must never, ever, cast a love spell on a specific person or woe be unto you and them. From my perspective, both schools of thought have some merits to them. It depends on what you are looking for and what your long-term goal is.
When doing love magic on a certain person, you are essentially asserting your will onto them. Even if it’s simply to catch their eye, there is a degree of manipulation involved. If you’re fine with that, then go for it–that remains between you, them, and your Higher Power. However, these kinds of situations tend to require regular magical upkeep and maintenance in order to keep the relationship going. In some instances, a person may develop an immunity or resistance to your “charms” and if they are particularly strong-willed, the may fight the magic. When this happens, I’ve seen people lose relationships and friendships completely once the energies have worn off. Sometimes the target reacts with anger or violent outbursts. When you are manipulating someone’s emotions, you never know exactly how things will play out. Some people shy away from these types of love spells for this very reason.
A “safe” alternative is to cast a love spell that simply puts a call out to the Universe to help bring you a lover. Now, this also depends on what you want: are you fine with just anyone that the Universe sends you, or do you have some specific characteristics in mind? My advice is to sit down and make a list of traits for your “Ideal Lover” and use that in your love magic. Without focusing on a specific person, list all the qualities that you would like if you could conjure up the perfect partner. You can be as detailed and specific are you’d like, or just jot down a few main desired traits. In any case, I suggest that you not get too hung up on the physical characteristics and instead focus on what would fulfill your emotional needs more. But again, that choice is yours. The only requirement I would say is to make sure you specify that it is a HUMAN that you are casting your spell to attract, otherwise you may find yourself gaining a new perfect pet.
Once you have your list and have done your love spell, this doesn’t mean you just sit back and wait for this perfect lover to land in your lap! You still have to do the work and help the Universe to manifest them. Get out there and meet people. Join an online dating site or get to know people at the local hangout. Pay attention and take notice of anyone coming into your life who fits your list. As your tastes and situations grow and change, don’t be afraid to update and edit your list, too. Just be careful of falling into the trap that is changing your list to match the person that is in front of you. Don’t let desire and loneliness get you to sell yourself short. And, watch your loopholes! A person that’s crazy for you sounds wonderful until you end up with an obsessed stalker who won’t leave you alone. As with any magic, be very careful what you wish for.
For further reading on love magic and some great love spell ideas, I suggest the following titles:
Enchantments of the Heart, by Dorothy Morrison (Career Press, 2008)
Silver’s Spells for Love, by Silver Ravenwolf (Llewellyn Publications, 2001)
The Witch’s Heart: The Magick of Perfect Love & Perfect Trust, by Christopher Penczak (Llewellyn Publications, 2011)